Dwindling Ratings

The polls are in! The gloomy statistics does not paint a very bright picture as SHIRTSHORTSLIPPERS edge slowly into the New Year. It was a dismal showing at the Best Blogs World Ranking Convention in Geneva, USA for ShirtShortSlippers. With the diminishing blog hits (23,234,535,975 hits to be exact) ShirtShortSlippers has slipped to a World Best Blog Ranking of NUMBER 2! What a farce!
With my work schedule being so tight, it was difficult to even get within a ten metre radius of a keyboard! I was temporarily on 'AFK 'mode. (AFK being Away From Keyboard. A queer homophile taught me that.) Coupled with the booming population of the greatly procreant and fertile China I have lost my undisputed "World's Best Blog" to some manderin blog www.jianghuayu.cool.blogchina.com.
But I'm so please to have you guys! The loyal patrons who have been visiting and reading time and time again. It is so gratifying when I know I'm catering to such a wonderful and intelligent audience. You did not jump ship when there were signs of no imminent entries. I know you all realise that literary works, like mine, are like fine wine that age with time. The more you read, the better it gets. Thank you all. Every single 23,234,535,975 of you.
Anyway, I do realise that my blog and writing is not immaculate and flawless. My apologies to all. I received many complains about my blog. I gratefully accept all constructive comments.
In an attempt to win back my dear fans, I would be blogging with due care. Entries would be blogged in proper grammer and english with no lahs and with perfect puntuations lo. In conjunction with my improvement in blogging, I would be launching a multi million dollar advertising campaign called "Win my Fans' Back...Side". A pity you would not be able to see any of my extravagant marketing campaign as my blog would be advertised on all the dodgy sites for now, and I am absolutlely sure that all my readers are fine people who would never visit such sites. So that's a complete bummer.
Now I know you guys would be wondering why would a morally upright, angelic and ethical person like me advertise on such shady forums. Well, my Research and Planning Department has done their intensive groundwork. After all that delving, we discovered that a whopping 71.64% of world wide internet users surf shady and dodgy webbies like www.sex.com!!! As terrible as it sounds, I would be attracting a whole lot of horny lechers to my blog! *HORRIFIED?*
DONT BE! *Nothing to fear, when SHIRTSHORTSLIPPERS is here!* My blog, like that cool "pastor cum thong wearing singer" would spread subliminal saint-ly messages and would make all horny lechers flaccid! In actual fact, my blog helps people! So that's really cool.
Actually, I've got alot of work related issues to bitch about but I shall save it for the next entry. Keeping my entry positive, you know. Especially with all that NKF "We got your wallet to sap, so let's spend it on a golden tap" fiasco going on.
Alright lastly, before I bore all you readers, I want to wish all you a great time ushering the new year! Dont party too hard and screw yourself stupid. I know you will.

Like any Miss World would say while pouting her plastic-looking lips,
"World Piss".